Jokes circa 1978

I think sifting through the hand written jokes in the blue vinyl notebook is far more appetizing than reading text on a computer screen. However, something is better than nothing. These jokes were written in a book that also contained the directions and mileage to Newark, Ohio. My mother was living there at the time and starting her new life and family. This would have been during the late 1970's.  I wonder if B.B. made any of these up or if she heard a really good joke at a groovy party and ran home and wrote it down. I guess humor is timeless.

- A woman driving a car for a few times stopped at two red lights. When she came to the next traffic light she did not stop. She said "If you've seen one, you've seen them all."

- Coach McGuire handed me a football. He said "I bet you can't pass this." I said to him "You're probably right. I don't believe I can even swallow it."

- What did the elephant say to the naked man? "My goodness! How do you breathe through that little thing?"

- A woman around 40 years old was discouraged. She couldn't save any money, she didn't have a man, and she couldn't drive. She decided to go to Texas. Perhaps there she could find what she wanted in life. In the bar she was talking to a stranger. She said "I want a man who has one million dollars, at least one oil well, a white Cadillac and a penis 10 inches long. A half drunk man at the other table said, "Lady, I couldn't help but overhear what you said. I want you to know I qualify for the first three things you want, but I'll be dammed if I'm going to cut off two inches for you!"

- A gray headed distinguished man began playing the piano in the hotel lounge. I glanced back at him quickly and started unbuttoning my blouse. I said "Golly, I'll see if I can turn him on just for fun!" In a few minutes, Cecile from Greenville said, "Bernice you gotta do better than that; he's blind!!"

- A preacher was standing behind a wobbly pulpit and was trying too much to make a good impression on the congregation. He was getting old and forgetful. He said "Behold, I come ... (but he forgot what came next)." Louder and pounding his fist on the pulpit, "Behold, I come!" (Still couldn't remember the rest.) Again he said even louder, "Behold, I come!!" When he did this the pulpit broke and he fell down right into the lap of an older woman. The preacher said "Lady I am so very sorry, are you hurt?" The old lady said, "Why it wasn't your fault. You warned me three times and I didn't move."